Friday, December 25, 2009

learning your lesson...

i am what i would say a guy with a shameful past.

yes. my darkest secret.

aku sekarang sedar. aku sekarang tahu.
berdosa. bersalah. malu. sumpah aku malu.

aku kesal. ya, aku kesal kenapa aku buat semua tu.
kata orang, kita belajar dari kesilapan.
tapi utk kesilapan seperti itu?
kenapa harus kesilapan yang seperti itu?

oh tuhan, aku sampai malu utk mohon ampun dari kau.

kata orang, tak kan pernah ada ruang untuk terlambat.
tapi? sekarang?
aku rasa yang semua ini sudah jauh dari sekadar terlambat.

aku diberi peluang. sekali silap, aku diberi peluang dan aku seharusnya memanfaatkan peluang, pengajaran yang diberi itu.

afiqe aizudin..
kau alpa. how could you.. how could you waste the given chance...

aku ulang lagi salah aku..
saat aku sedar, saat aku tahu salah aku itu berulang
ialah saat dimana aku mahu melangkah dari kisah silam hitam aku.

betul kan?
jauh sungguh dari terlambat.

sekarang... aku jd takot.
takot utk terus kan hidup aku.
sumpah.
hidup aku tak menentu.
hantu sejarah aku masih bertenggek di kepala.

apa harus aku buat sekarang..
pergi? ke mana?
aku malu. sungguh.
aku mahu pelajari salah silap aku. tapi dari semua ini? apa??
apa je yg tinggal untuk aku pelajari??

tuhan ku...
aku jadi takot. dgn diri aku.
dgn perasaan aku. apakah ini yang harus aku pelajari?
kalau ya, aku dah cukup masak.

aku dah cukup takot dengan perasaan aku sendiri.

i wish. for all of this to disappear.
please.

lesson learnt?

.......

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sedikit Lagi Tentang Aku

it's... almost 4am...
and i am still not asleep..

kenapa?
dok sebok baca this one girl punya blog...
best gila! aku tak tau lah pd org laen...
but i very much kinda liked it... yeah~

yup. blog ni buat aku jd addictive.
i'm pretty much messed up right this moment actually,
not to tell the whole world, but yuh...
this blog thingy takes me far away from my...
test...

and, what i founded out today,
after reading tons of post from all sorts of... wonderwriter,
i found lots of solutions,
tips,
advices,
mcm2 "bantuan"
thou all of em are not exactly for me... (duhhh~)
tp aku sendiri bole kait kn utk aku sendri guna pakai..

hish..
berhantu blog nih rupanya...

oh,
bout the female blogger that i like reading her post..
i don't know if its okay for me to put your url sesuka hati aku..
but i think im just gonna put it anyway

http://ilyasyafeena.blogspot.com

for the owner of the blog above, if u ever read this (which i kinda doubt that)

do know that i meant nothing but to just share what i like
with the world.

dont sue me or sumtin willya?
many thanks. :)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Ayoh Mnules!

okeh!

i, suddenly don't know what to write...
writer's block...?
peffth~

here's what i found in my stash..
it's in Bahasa btw...
so, yuh... :D

"Apa yang kau nak

Terus terang terus

Bagitahu apa yang terbuku

Jangan diam membisu


Kau betul- betul nak apa yang kau nak

Tapi takot

Takot dengan persepsi orang di kanan dan kiri

Jadi kau diam menyepi


Dalam diam tanpa kata kau itu

Tersimpan segala macam rasa

Yang berbuku tersimpan itu

Yang segala macam rasa


Kau cuma mampu berangan membabi- buta

Angan- anggan tinggal angan- anggan

Mimpi tinggal mimpi

Sedar dalam tidur

Tidur dalam sedar"

09/ 09/ 09


Corny?

What did i tell ya...

:)

Sedikit Tentang Aku

Writing has always been my cup of tea... English to be specific...
It's not like i don't do or write or dislike writing in Bahasa...

Cuma aku rase kalau aku mnulis something in Bahasa, sumpah karat abess...
whatever.

so, this is my very first try blogging, like i said on my first post...
i'm pretty much, awkward posting my stuff in here...

i, am the type who doesn't like to be seen...
i mean, ntah... it's just... weird... u know...
i wonder how people could be so... i don't know...
how people could write on blog..

and till one said this to me...
"stay like that, and you're never gonna get any better"
"you need to open up a bit more you know"
"just get it done, worry bout it later"

so, yuh...

WRITE on!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Yes!

Finally, my first time using blog as my stage of wordplay now are able to begin. After so many times of trying, so many email and blog accounts wasted <seriously<>

Credits to Aina who had been so patience on guiding me throughout creating this blog of mine. Then I ended up getting dizzy. Haha.

Very well then, enter the wordplay!